Life has awkward moments

*Sorry this took so long, but I have written and erased this so many times over the past 3 days trying get some kind of point into words.  It may not be eloquent but it’s the best I can do! I can’t try to re-write it again.*

Now I know there are those moments you can’t avoid no matter how hard you try. The you are walking towards someone and you both step the same way, step the same way again, stop exchange a laugh and walk on. The walking too quickly around a corner in the student center and hitting someone (shout out to Shannon here).  The opening a door and then can’t figure out who should go in first. The oh I really thought you were my friend so I waved frantically and now you are looking at me like I’m crazy (because that person has never done it themselves).  These could go on and on and these are just the things that happened to me today. 

But what about those moments in life we make awkward?

 For instance I am the type of person who is completely ok sitting in silence.  As a matter of fact I am usually utterly lost in my own mind when this happens. Typically though, if we are sitting with someone we feel the need to fill every second with conversation.  And what’s even more awkward than the pauses is when you both fall silent and are wondering if the other person feels uncomfortable. You know you are both sitting there wondering if the other person wants to talk, but you can’t come up with anything monumental to say.  

Or when you encounter someone you don’t really know well (this one is awkward from every angle). You can walk past but worry that they will think you are rude. You can say hi and smile, but they might not remember you.  And if you stop to talk do you sit down with them or just stand there? Or if you are the one that is stopped how do you end the conversation? These situations make you both so uncomfortable!!

We also all feel the awkwardness when we worry what people will think of us. I know as a girl I constantly get in fights with my self-esteem and worry about everyone’s thoughts all the time. I worry if I come across as a nerd with my harry potter obsession. I worry if my personality is too loud or annoying. I worry if someone doesn’t want to talk about God when I bring it up. I wonder if my friends wish they had picked someone else. These are all thoughts that have plagued me before and I’m sure some similar have plagued you.

As I was typing all this I realized one thing that interconnects all of these moments. WORRY!! And I am the queen of worrying and anxiety. Actually, for lent I tried to give up worrying (this just meant every morning when I woke up I would hand my day over to the Lord and any time during the day that anxiety set in I would pray for peace and guidance) but it didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped. The question I have faced all year and especially during that time was how to stop the worrying.

To be honest with you I don’t know any cure-all to get rid of the worry. Something I have been working on is remembering when judging myself and others that we are all children of God and He knows exactly who we are and who we are meant to be. I also try to catch myself in the act of judging and remember the Lord’s love for that person. One of the most profound things someone ever said to me was “the Lord is proud of you”. Ariel told me this one night when I was feeling particularly unwanted.  Something so simple moved me so much!!

Unfortunately this isn’t an amazing and definite answer to the problem of worrying, but I hope this is a thought that will help you survive the worries that bombard us all every day. Remember that you are the Lord’s child and He loves you and is proud of you. Remember that you are who you are meant to be!! And don’t spend your time worrying about what other people think of you just worry what the Lord thinks of you!!!! It is easier to talk the talk than walk the walk on this one, but I hope somehow this will impact you in some way even if you just think about it once when you are judging. As long as this helps someone somewhere…

MISCHIEF MANAGED

*and because Shannon thinks I should have something at the bottom of each one:

Current book: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Quote of the day: “they look like wizards trying to be muggles”-Shannon (while watching the royal wedding)