So this post is overdue and another post in general is long overdue, but in my defense this has been a whirlwind of a summer. As a matter of fact I think I slept more hours per night during my first two semesters of college than this summer. That’s just not supposed to happen!! But as this summer draws to a close with the impending doom and joy of band camp I want to stop and recollect on what has been a summer of beginning and endings.
Let’s start by covering the beginnings first. It’s the beginning of trying to be happy with my life. It took me nearly 20 years, but hey better late than never. Now I’m not saying I have never been happy or anything melodramatic like that it’s just I’ve spent so much time trying to make everyone happy, and do what’s right, and do what’s appropriate, and think about what everyone else thinks, and live up to expectations that I ridiculously set for myself…*stopping to take deep breathes!!*. That’s the problem with being a perfectionist: you try to be perfect and I’ve got news that just isn’t possible!!
Also I’m so mortified of change that I will stick to a decision I made so long ago I don’t remember why I made it in the first place. Well if you don’t know me or are still clueless as to what I’m talking about this is all about my major. I am currently an elementary education major but I think that will be changing very soon. In the beginning of the summer I did my preteaching and it wasn’t that those little 4th graders made me realize a hatred for children or anything like that it’s just the experience made me realize I never gave myself the opportunity to look at any other options. Or rather I didn’t give myself credit.
I was always the smart kid in high school and I was pressured to go to med school or law school; you know do something impressive with my life. But I didn’t want to do that, I was much much too afraid of failure to try anything that hard. And this summer I have decided I’m tired of avoiding hard work or risk because of the fear of failure. So after weeks of inner turmoil I took one of those evaluations with the career center and found out I am an INFJ personality which means I was basically in the right field but the other options I like were there as well. So basically I’m looking at HDFS or psychology (and trust me I have been spiraling all summer so this was no easy decision and I still haven’t had the guts to actually change but I’m working on it!!)
This upcoming semester is a little late to change things around but I’m still trying to decide and thanks to AP classes I have plenty of wiggle room. It’s a scary decision, but I’m proud of myself for stepping out of my safe box of teaching where you take the easy classes and no where you are going after graduation. I’m proud of myself for not letting fear of taking chances hold me back from really living.
My whole life has been built in stepping stones of one safety zone to the other without only one or two excursions like people to people. I’m just glad I can give myself a chance to do something that interests me and realize that if I do fall flat on my butt my friends will pick me up and dust me off!! Well since it took me half a novel to explain the beginning of the brave new Brittany (okay okay the baby steps towards brave new Brittany) I will save the summer of endings for my next post which will hopefully be tomorrow. And if you know me even slightly you have already guessed it will be all about Harry Potter!! Until then…
MISCHIEF MANAGED
Current Book: Pride and Prejudice
Quote of the Day: Rabbit: “Can you tie a knot?”
Pigglet: “I can not.”
Rabbit: “Ah, so you can knot!”
Pigglet: “No, I can not knot.”
Rabbit: “Not knot?”
Pooh: “Who’s there?”
Rabbit: “Pooh!!”
Pooh: “Pooh who?”
And it just keeps going! I shouldn’t have found it so funny but I was in hysterics!
