My entire day has been filled with thoughts of what to post first. I have rants and messages roaring through my head, but I have decided to start slow, with baby steps. I'm not going to sit here and vent for an hour (although I can pretty much guarantee I will at some point). Instead I will start with the basics of who I am.
I am an elementary education major at Auburn University. I question my decision almost daily, but more often than my questioning God reassures me this is what I am meant to do with my life. And hey even if it isn't I will know in two weeks when I do my pre-teaching. Sometimes I sway to the side of my family and feel as if I should go into a "smart person major", but my passion is in education. Yes I have always been able to make A's without studying, but that doesn't mean I have to be and engineer or a doctor. As someone once told me I'm not wasting my intelligence I am passing it on. I have fought for this major for two years now and I will continue to stand strong as long as I feel it is my calling.
I am a home town girl through and through. I mean I was born in EAMC just down the road. Not to mention the fact that my mom went to the same junior high, high school, and college as me. Sometimes I feel as if I am cursed to roam the plains for ever more stuck in one place. And this is yet another conflicting thought. I am so fearful of change and yet I don't want to be stuck. This is one of those decisions I am completely relying on the Lord for.
The funny thing is that even though I say I fear change I have become a completely different person during my freshman year of college. (I guess I would be more correct to say I fear making the decision to change). Anyways through this first year in college I have come out of the darkest place I have ever been, and hope to ever be. I left behind a toxic friendship in high school and found true friends through my new church and sisterhood. The people I surround myself with constantly lift me up and keep me going. They truly saved me and I will be grateful to all of them always.
I AM A READER. I'm probably a bit crazy about my books. They are my prized possessions!! Moving into my dorm in fall the hardest thing I had to do was leave one of my bookcases behind. I can completely immerse myself in a book and not come out for days. Honestly I probably get too emotionally attached to the characters in my books but that's the only way I know how to operate. If you ever find me without a book it is a rare occasion and it probably means I am having a bad day so beware!
I may have broken out of my shell quite a bit, but I am still extremely shy. You can make me blush just by looking at me. I promise, try it some time!! Despite this I am a performer. I may be a wallflower and want nothing more but to blend in in a crowd but put me on stage in a spotlight and I will shine.
Really I am much too complicated to try to spell out and like everyone else I am constantly growing. Honestly I can't even really explain myself. If you want to know ask one of my best friends about me and they will give you the truth (and you will get to experience that blushing I mentioned earlier). I live for the love of my friends, family, and the Lord. I am really just stumbling through this life trying to make them and myself proud. At this point I can say I am doing pretty well and that is truly an accomplishment!!
Now that I am done trying to unravel the mysteries of myself I am ready to go full steam ahead!! Hopefully from now on I won't ramble, although I am a rambler be warned!! And I promise you I have forgotten over half the things I intended to say so I'm sure more will come. For now though...
MISCHIEF MANAGED
